booty meat.

Today I solved a mystery. I feel that it's something we've all thought at one point or another in life--although not everyone will admit it.

Why do African American women have such big butts?
I mean really, it's a valid question.
Those booties are icons.

There's music about it...
Usher endorses it in OMG--"Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow."
It's all over music videos, tv, and movies.
Clearly it's a big deal.

So we've accepted it, but really, why do THEY have such big butts? Why doesn't everyone?

Good question...

Today I solved it.

The answer to the question is really quite simple...




Yep, bacon.

That's it.
They like bacon.
And when I say like it you don't know the half of it...
They LOVE their bacon.

Generally someone would say "I'd like an order of bacon."
That's it.
An African American woman says "Ah like estra cripsy...no hun that's not eenuff. I need BACON. ESTRA cripsy. That's not cripsy enough sugah..."

Then they check it to be sure it's "cripsy" enough.
It never is.
They have to send it back until it is PERFECT and piled high.

Seriously. I'm keeping a poll. Every African American women that comes into the Cafe orders bacon. Every single one. On average they consume 8 pieces a day each.

I love bacon as much as the next southerner, but that's some serious bacon.


Eight pieces of bacon a day.
Five days a week.
Four weeks in a month.
That means my girl Catrice will consume 160 pieces of bacon in the month of June.

Now if you're a lady reading this you'll understand. You can do the math yourself.

8 x 5 x 4 = BOOTY

There you have it. Mystery solved.